A Father

by: Bharati Mukherjee

  "A Father"  is a clash between Indian Traditions(old world) vs. Americanized approaches(new world). This story in particular I connected with the most because Babli's relationship with her dad is one that I feel I share with my own mother. Balbi can never be loved by her father because she doesn't represent his idea of what a woman should be. The only difference between Balbi's father and my mother is that my mother does in fact love me, however when it comes to my sexuality, it doesn't fit her idea of what she expects me to be. 

Balbi's father expects her to be not as headstrong or independent as she was, her independence scared him. The fact that i don't care about what society thinks, or what other family members would say about my sexuality and my life style scares my mom; she wishes I was "normal" enough to fit the social norms. 

Mr. Bhowmick, Balbi's father, and my mother share similar views when it comes to how they view their own generation's beliefs against the beliefs of modern day. Mr. Bhowmick was forced to apply for a permanent resident status in the U.S. by his wife, he didn't do it voluntarily. On the other hand my mother does not like to entertain the idea that we live in America and we are free to express ourselves. In her mind she believes that the way she was brought up is the way her children should be brought up, and the beliefs that she believes are the same beliefs that her children should enforce as well. 

Throughout the story, and throughout my life, a  clash between generations have been quite obvious.  Mr. Bhowmick griped his Indian traditions tight, just as my mother did with her Ecuadorian traditions and beliefs. Both my mother and Mr. Bhowmick have an idea of how things should be, and how one should perceive certain situations, which is all stemmed from what they were taught growing up. 

Personally I feel like as children we should definitely be guided, however once we have reached an understanding of self, we should be able to make our own decisions as to how to proceed with life. 

Balbi's father at the end of the story kills her baby that builds frustration upon him because he can't escape from the differences between the cultures in the U.S. and Ranchi, where he grew up. In contrary, my mother slowly dims my light of hope that I have of her accepting the decisions I'm making in my life, by constantly shoving her disapproval and threats to my face. 

"I'm curious about the world. I'm like a sponge, absorbing everything, and it all becomes part of who I am, what I can respond to." 

That quote hits close to home for me, and i feel like it relates to this for the fact that, Balbi and my self are human beings who want to know more about the world, today's world. I got the sense that Balbi, like myself, are curious about the unknown, we want to learn and find ways to adjust to the new findings. Through different and new experiences people in general learn new things about themselves that they might not have known if they did not take a new path. I am one to yearn for new experiences, I am who yearns to experience my life's journey without the pressure of negative remarks from those you love and care about the most. The freedom to discover what the world has to offer and what oneself has to offer to the world.